Probably the world is crazy to start with
And we only need something uncontrollable (COVID19) to make us realize it
Economy turned bad
Riot regarding racism
Of course I'm in no position to complain
I'm in Japan, where I think is coping? dealing with this absurd condition better than other places in the world
But it's not like I had no sad days
There were days when I felt helpless, probably slightly stressed that I couldn't go out
I already had my breakdown regarding economy
I already had my fear? shocking realisation that I may not be able to meet my family and friends out of Japan this year
but may be, I'm just more sad to see people dear to me are sad
I lost a teacher last week
TBH regret is never the first feeling I have when someone I know left this world
He is a big figure in my life, but I'm not close enough to him to be confident enough to write a long farewell letter
I know feeling shouldn't be compared but I'm definitely not as sad as the others
I knew him the least, but I won't say that he is just a passerby in my life
That's why just like all the others in my circle who left this world, I'm grateful
Thank you for giving me a chance
Thank you for introducing me to your family
Thank you for introducing me to your home
Thank you for telling me to be stronger
Thank you for not spoiling me
Thank you for being professional
I didn't see his face even though I went to his wake
Because most of all, I'd like to thank him for appearing with a smile when I remember you in my head
Written on June 2
School started yesterday
In a way I do pity my juniors, since they miss a number of fun stuff;
- Orientation at outskirt of Tokyo (OK I didn't really enjoy this because it's a one night stay in a room of people you don't know)
- A number of optional classes (usually the max number of students in optional classes can go up to 30 people but due to current situation, a lot of classes can only have 8-15 students. Second year students get exemption since we only have a year left)
- A number of show (I watched a number of live play? performance sponsored by the school but nobody can really do show current..)
But more than my junior, seeing my teachers kinda heart wrenching
They've never thought in this kind of situation; Need to distant from students. Can't be too loud since door is open, but window is ALSO open. we lost 2 months, mean teacher will lost their summer holiday too.
and mostly, I believe they are teaching what they love. They can't express, or let more students enjoy, understand the fun of art due to those + limited number of student
I'm happy to see first year students still energetic, noisy and super excited
but I do feel a little of depressing mood in the air
and ofc, fear of second-wave is in the air
Regarding racism, I totally can't say much
It's just everywhere
Injustice is just everywhere
Supremacy, Religion, Nation, Economy, Gender
Color may be the most obvious one but really
I've been finding this topic like a taboo? Like how I don't like to talk about religion
I won't say that I'm not related.
My family experienced it.
Where they are is also related to this issue. (That's why I said it's everywhere.)
What can I do?
All I can do is be kind?
One reason why I don't like to post sad thing in my SNS, including my sad days
One reason why I love cosplay in Medan; there are problems but I'm so more into meeting people who like the same series, character, songs as I do
Be me.
Regardless of anything, all I stand on is this;
treat others how you want to be treated.
life is a circle.
it's infinite.
even when you leave this world, people will still remember you.
people will still talk about you.
it'll effect who you are close with.
it'll effect who you know.
this may be a self-justification but why not just be kind then?
(PS V is still new at writing about her pensive mood so I'm sorry if this is all over the place)
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